Most of us don’t pay much attention to the inside of our dog’s ears unless something goes wrong. We catch a whiff of something unpleasant when we bend down to pet him, or we notice he’s shaking his head or scratching his ears a lot more than usual, and we realize his ears could be ailing.

If you’re a long-time dog caretaker, you’ve probably run into an ear infection or two along the way, especially if you’ve had a floppy eared dog like a beagle or Basset Hound. While any breed can suffer an ear infection, floppy-eared pups like these — along with Shar-Peis, Labrador and Golden Retrievers, poodles, and cocker spaniels — are especially prone to ear infections because the long fur around their ear flap creates a moist, warm environment and poor air circulation. Add in the ear canal’s anatomy which tends to hold in moisture, and you have a perfect breeding ground for bacteria and yeast. Dogs can also develop ear infections due to allergies or food sensitivities, wax buildup, injury, or a foreign body trapped in the ear canal.

If you suspect an ear infection, take a look under the ear flap: if one or both ears are red, have a discharge or significant buildup of debris, or if touching the ear causes pain, you’ve got yourself an infection. These conditions are quite painful for your dog, and require veterinary intervention to make sure they don’t become even more serious and perhaps cause permanent damage.

The key to keeping your furry friend’s ears healthy is keeping them as clean and dry as possible. If your pup loves to swim, make sure to carefully dry out her ears with a towel or cotton ball when you get home; the same goes for after her bath. Much of the time, you can clean your dog’s ears yourself, unless he has eardrum damage or the ear canal is inflamed: in that case, professional ear cleaning by your veterinarian is needed.

If you’re the least bit uncertain about the condition of your dog’s ears, ask your vet for guidance.

To make the job of cleaning your dog’s ears easier, keep the fur around the ear flap clean and trimmed. The ear cleaning itself can take a while, so you might want to split the task into one ear at a time, then take a break. It can also be messy, so don’t wear your good clothes. Finally, never use human ear cleaning solutions or household liquids like alcohol or hydrogen peroxide: use cleaning solutions approved for dogs such as Epi-Otic, available without a prescription.

Start by lifting your dog’s ear flap, and without touching the tip of the bottle to the ear, fill the canal with the solution. Then gently knead the base of the ear between your fingers, moving upward until you’ve massaged the entire canal. A squishing sound will tell you you’re doing it right!

Allow your pup to shake his head, which gets rid of most of the liquid, then use a cotton ball or gauze pad to wipe out the visible ear canal. Repeat the whole process until the cotton ball or pad is clean; then take another cotton ball, pad, or Q-tip and clean the outer folds of the ear. Never use a Q-tip to clean inside the dog’s ear.

Keeping your pup’s ears clean should be part of your regular grooming process — it will leave both you and your furry pal happy and contented, and ready for your next adventure.

Joan Merriam lives in Nevada City with her new Golden Retriever Frankie, her Maine Coon cat Indy, and the infinite spirits of her beloved Goldens Joey and Casey. You can reach Joan at joan@joanmerriam.com. And if you’re looking for a Golden, hop on over to Homeward Bound Golden Retriever Rescue.

I always figured it would just be too challenging for both me and the dog to get them to tolerate tooth-brushing.

Besides, since I always took my dogs in for regular vet checkups, I knew they’d tell me if there was a dental problem.

Quite honestly, I simply lucked out. All my dogs have had pretty good dental health throughout their lives, and only needed an occasional professional cleaning.

Even before I adopted Frankie, I decided I would change that shoddy practice with my next dog, and I’m pleased to say that I have. No, I’m not perfect: I don’t brush her teeth very day, but I try for at least four days a week.

Let’s start with some canine teeth basics. A puppy’s adult teeth start to push out their deciduous (puppy) teeth at about three months; the process is over by the time the dog is six or seven months old. It’s those adult teeth that pose the greatest health risks — and yes, poor dental hygiene can have serious and sometimes fatal consequences.

Plaque and tarter buildup leads to gingivitis, bright red or purple swollen gums which not only bleed easily, but are very painful. If left untreated, gingivitis can lead to periodontal disease, and potentially lethal infections which can spread throughout the dog’s body.

Brushing your dog’s teeth can go a long way toward avoiding these kinds of negative outcomes. As far as how often to brush your dog’s teeth, one veterinary professional said it best: the more you brush, the less frequently you’ll need to pay for a veterinary cleaning.

And if you haven’t experienced one lately, dental cleanings can be very expensive, ranging anywhere from $500 to well over $1,000.

Ideally, you want to brush your dog’s teeth at least 1-2 times a week.

If you’re like me, and unbelievably lucky to have a dog like Frankie who loves having her teeth brushed, you have it made. With most dogs, however, it takes both patience and time to get your dog accustomed to having you messing around inside their mouth with a foreign object.

Be sure to use a toothpaste created for dogs, never human toothpaste or baking soda. You may need to try several flavors before finding one that your dog likes the best. I recommend using a toothbrush designed for dogs, since they have long handles and soft bristles.

Start with just your finger touching your dog’s teeth and gums, and slowly progress to rubbing the teeth and gums with a soft cloth in a back-and-forth motion.

Again, be patient: teaching your dog to accept toothbrushing can take weeks.

Once your dog is comfortable with you touching their mouth and is familiar with the toothbrush and toothpaste, gradually switch to putting the toothpaste on your finger, and then to putting the toothpaste on the toothbrush. You only need to brush the outside of your dog’s teeth along the gum line. Work up to at least 30 seconds of brushing for each side of the mouth.

Always include plenty of praise while you’re brushing, and reward with treats at the end. Do your best to make the activity enjoyable by using a happy, upbeat tone of voice, and being gentle in your touch.

If you can’t brush every day, supplement with dental treats or an oral rinse that have a Veterinary Oral Health Council seal of approval. As always, talk with your veterinarian for their recommendation.

Joan Merriam lives in Northern California with her Maine coon cat Indy, the infinite spirit of her beloved golden retriever Joey, and the abiding presence of her dog Casey, in whose memory this column is named. You can reach Joan at joan@joanmerriam.com.

You might think that’s an easy question to answer, but it’s not. While some breeds have lived happily with humans for centuries, much of a dog’s temperament is shaped by the first months of their lives. Think of a puppy like a sponge: they soak up everything around them, both good and bad. Unlike a sponge, however, some things can’t be “rinsed” out of them easily or completely. A puppy that’s been left alone a lot or ignored or neglected by its humans will carry those experiences with them into adulthood. What you end up with is a dog that’s fearful of both people and the world around them, that’s likely to be uncomfortable with touch or cuddling, and that responds to ordinary events with fear-aggressiveness.

On the other hand, a puppy that’s learned how to interact positively with humans, other animals, and the outside world will usually grow up to be the kind of dog you want as a companion: a friendly dog. That kind of dog will typically greet strangers with a wagging tail, open eyes and what every dog caretaker knows as a “dog smile.”

While there are certain breeds known to be more friendly than others, you can help your dog learn how to be more sociable. First, expose your pup to a wide variety of people — men, women, children, older adults — and people with distinctive characteristics such as men with beards, people in wheelchairs or using an assistive device and even people with loud voices. If your dog’s only association with humans is just you, she could end up being wary of anyone that’s unfamiliar.

When people approach your dog, encourage them to pet him under his chin, on his back or side or on his chest, rather than his head. Watch for signs of discomfort like lip-licking, yawning or hard staring: if you spot any of these signs, move away from the person as diplomatically as possible. If your dog is shy with strangers, try giving her a treat so she learns to associate meeting new people with something positive.

All that being said, there are breeds that are predisposed to friendliness and gentleness. (Which doesn’t mean that rottweilers or pit bull terriers can’t be gentle and gregarious. Again, how they were raised is the primary key to a dog’s temperament.)

Many experts rank the golden and Labrador retrievers at the top of the friendly-dog list. Both are known for their benevolent nature, warm personality and unwavering sociability. Also ranking high on the friendliness scale is the Irish setter, a gorgeous redhead that loves people and is eager to show it. Just be aware that all these breeds are quite energetic, so daily exercise is a must.

Another big dog — with an emphasis on big, often tipping the scales at 150 pounds — is the Newfoundland. This cuddly, affectionate colossus absolutely adores people and other dogs. Just be prepared for regular brushing and abundant amounts of slobber.

Medium- and small-sized breeds that tend to be innately friendly include the beagle, a loyal, devoted dog with a strong desire to please. On the smaller side, the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel has a sweet, docile nature, and is an excellent companion for children and families. Border collies, though high in energy, are good-natured and very connected to their humans. One of the most popular small dogs today is the French bulldog, a generally friendly, playful and affectionate breed, although its flat face makes it prone to breathing issues.

In the end, remember that these breeds of “friendliest-dogs” are generalizations, and that each individual dog is unique.

Joan Merriam lives in Northern California with her Maine coon cat Indy, the infinite spirit of her beloved golden retriever Joey, and the abiding presence of her dog Casey, in whose memory this column is named. You can reach Joan at joan@joanmerriam.com.

The dictionary defines socialization as the process of learning to behave in a way that’s socially acceptable … and this is as true for dogs as it is for humans. In a nutshell, socialization is the practice of exposing puppies to a wide variety of situations they’ll face  during their lives, which allows them to thrive emotionally as they grow up and experience the world.

Ideally, socialization occurs between three and 20 weeks of age, when the puppy’s brain is most receptive to learning how to be a social member of the dog world. A dog that’s missed this early socialization may lack the ability to relate well to humans and the world around them. They may exhibit behavior like fear aggression, separation anxiety, discomfort with touch, apprehension over new experiences, and an overarching, crippling fear of almost everything. This certainly isn’t a picture of the family-friendly dog that most of us dream of.

One of the first things to focus on when socializing your puppy is handling, where as many different people as possible can hold and cuddle your pup. Don’t overlook small children, but make sure they understand the need to be gentle and calm in their petting and touching.

Get your puppy accustomed to the normal sights and sounds of living: vacuum cleaners, car engines, telephones, doorbells, television, kitchen sounds like dishwashers and garbage disposals, bicycles, delivery people and mail carriers, cars entering your driveway, and large vehicles like waste collection trucks.

Teach your puppy how to be alone: if people are around her 24/7, she never learns that being alone isn’t scary. Instead, when she’s left alone she goes into a state of high anxiety, which can lead to things like destruction of furniture, house soiling, constant barking or howling, and dangerous escape attempts.

During socialization, your puppy should also learn how to not bite humans. It’s perfectly normal for a puppy under five or six months old to bite in play, but he needs to know how hard is too hard. One tactic is when you’re playing and he bites too hard, make a sudden noise like “ow!” and end the game. Never yell or hit him, since that can frighten him and make the biting worse.

Attending a puppy obedience class can be a huge help in the socialization process, since it allows your pup to mingle with new dogs and people in a controlled setting, and helps reinforce the socialization exercises you’re doing at home.

Socialization shouldn’t end with puppyhood, but should continue through your dog’s adolescence and adulthood. Continue handling your dog by petting and brushing him, touching his feet and other parts of his body including his mouth (brushing his teeth regularly can help with this), and walking with him on a leash. Keep exposing your dog to new people, new dogs, new things, and new experiences.

Explore different routes on your daily walks. Take your dog into dog-friendly stores where she can interact with a variety of people and happily accept petting from strangers. At the same time, don’t inflict your dog on people who clearly don’t want to be near her. Chances are, your dog may instinctively avoid these people, but be prepared to gently dissuade her from approaching people who aren’t interested in her.

Finally, don’t hesitate to take a refresher obedience class if you notice a problematic behavior or simply want to learn some new techniques. Just as with humans, dogs benefit from lifelong learning!

Joan Merriam lives in northern California with her new Golden Retriever Frankie, her Maine Coon cat Indy, and the infinite spirits of her beloved Goldens Joey and Casey. You can reach Joan at joan@joanmerriam.com. And if you’re looking for a Golden, hop on over to Homeward Bound Golden Retriever Rescue.

Maybe you would never consider parachuting out of an airplane at 3,000 feet or going white-water rafting … but would you walk across the street? Drive to your favorite market? Eat in a restaurant? Every one of those activities involves a certain amount of risk: yes, you could get hit in the crosswalk, have a car accident, or get food poisoning … but the odds are that none of these things will happen.

When it comes to vaccinating your dog, however, it’s critical to assess the risk of not vaccinating before you make a decision. Misinformation campaigns and conspiracy theories are around every corner on social media, and that extends to the subject of vaccinating your dog.

You can find hundreds of posts from pet caretakers describing nightmarish adverse and allergic reactions to canine vaccines … but before basing your decision, and possibly the life of your dog, on these comments, look for the evidence behind them. Research legitimate, unbiased scientific studies and opinions before rejecting vaccines.

No medication is without risk, but with very few exceptions, the benefits of vaccinating your dog outweigh those risks. While any dog can have a reaction to a vaccine, just as humans can, in the vast majority of cases, that reaction is mild, and resolves itself with time. In fact, vaccinations protect your dog from devastating and life-threatening diseases, and also protect the lives of other dogs with which your pup comes into contact.

Having said all that, which vaccines do most reputable veterinarians recommend? The so-called “core” vaccines — those that every dog should receive — are adenovirus (which causes canine hepatitis), distemper, parvovirus, and rabies. (Many veterinarians also consider parainfluenza vaccine as part of this “core” group.) All these diseases cause enormous suffering for the dog, and often death. Rabies, as you know, is 100 percent fatal, and vaccination for it is mandatory in California.

There is some disagreement however, even among veterinary professionals, about the necessity of “non-core” vaccines. The American Animal Hospital Association (AAHA) provides guidelines about the advisability and/or necessity of other vaccines for your dogs, based on where they live, their age, and their lifestyle. Before deciding for or against any of these vaccines, it’s important to consult with your own veterinarian.

Here in California, these non-core vaccines include:

— Leptospirosis, which can infect both pets and humans exposed to contaminated outdoor water sources, can cause kidney and liver failure.

— Western diamondback rattlesnake, often recommended for dogs in areas where rattlesnakes are prevalent, including Butte County. The “rattler” is the most common venomous snake in California, and can be found from sea level to the high Sierra.

— Bordetella, which causes kennel cough, is commonly given to dogs that frequent dog parks, are routinely groomed, or interact with other dogs on a regular basis.

— Lyme disease, transmitted by the bite of the blacklegged tick, was once unknown in California but is now endemic in several regions. At one time, dogs living in rural areas such as ours where this tick is especially prevalent were often vaccinated; today, owever, a number of veterinarians discourage it, citing research showing that only 5-10 percent of dogs infected with Lyme disease show any symptoms; in addition, the disease is easily treatable with antibiotics and seldom causes long-term complications.

A better option is for pet caretakers to use preventative flea-and-tick medications, which are highly effective against these insects. My advice? Before you decide what vaccines are right for your dog, talk with your veterinarian. Your dog’s life could depend upon what you do.

Joan Merriam lives in northern California with her new Golden Retriever Frankie, her Maine Coon cat Indy, and the infinite spirits of her beloved Goldens Joey and Casey. You can reach Joan at joan@joanmerriam.com. And if you’re looking for a Golden, hop on over to Homeward Bound Golden Retriever Rescue.

Be prepared

No one likes to think about something happening to our dogs, but accidents and illnesses occur, often unexpectedly. Sometimes it’s as simple as a foxtail between your pup’s toes, and sometimes it’s more serious, like your dog needing major surgery for a bowel obstruction. Either way, we all know how quickly veterinary costs can add up.

Some people have an emergency fund set up though their bank or credit union. You could choose to contribute a certain dollar amount to it every month, or just fund it outright with an amount you think you might need.

Another option is pet insurance, which I’m getting for my new dog Frankie. Spend time researching the various companies and the coverages they offer, and check out company ratings on a unbiased websites like Consumer Reports and NerdWallet. The California Department of Insurance also has a list of companies offering pet insurance, including business profiles and their history of complaints.

Keep your dog’s ID current

Just as none of us likes to think about our dog having serious health problems, we also don’t like to think about the possibility of our dog getting lost. But it happens, meaning it’s up to you to keep their ID up to date.

If your dog wears a collar with an ID tag, check that your name and phone number are current, and that the tag is still readable. If your dog has a microchip — and every dog should have one — make sure all the contact information is correct. Remember that microchipping is painless to the dog and relatively inexpensive; in fact, some shelters offer free or low-cost microchipping. Sometimes microchipping can even be covered under your pet insurance plan.

Most animal shelters and rescues scan incoming dogs for a microchip. The scan reveals an ID number and the chip manufacturer, who searches their database and then contacts the dog’s guardian. But none of that matters if the chip information is out of date.

Grooming

No, your dog doesn’t need a bath every week — in fact, doing so can dry out the coat’s natural oils and lead to skin problems. If you’re unsure how often to bathe your pup, ask your vet for her recommendation. But even more important than bathing is regularly brushing your dog, which helps distribute skin oils to the fur, keeping the coat shiny and healthy. It also helps remove excess fur from the coat, reducing the amount of roaming fur-balls under your furniture.

Get your dog accustomed to being brushed and bathed as soon as possible after bringing him home. Many dogs love having their coat brushed: it helps strengthen the bond between the two of you, and also allows you to check for any new lumps or other conditions.

And don’t overlook brushing your dog’s teeth. Nearly 85% of dogs over 3 years old develop dental disease, which can have serious and sometimes deadly health consequences. Dog toothpaste makes the task easier, partly because the special flavoring tastes great to the dog! (Never use human toothpaste for your dog.)

Keep these things in mind, and resolve to do everything you can to keep your precious bundle of fur happy and healthy in the new year.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Joan Merriam lives in Northern California with her Maine coon cat Indy, the infinite spirit of her beloved golden retriever Joey, and the abiding presence of her dog Casey, in whose memory this column is named. You can reach Joan at joan@joanmerriam.com.

If you’ve been following me over this last year, you know that I too faced an acute loss when I made the agonizing decision to let my beloved dog Joey go. Felled by grief, for months I wondered when — or if — I would be healed enough to bring another dog into my life. But week by painful week, month by empty month, I began to feel the pain lessening, began feeling more joy and gratitude at having had Joey in my life instead of desolation at having lost him, and little by little, my heart began to open.

All of us who’ve loved and lost a treasured dog have been down this road. We may have even told ourselves that we’ll never do it again, never have another dog, because the pain of their eventual loss is just too great. Some of us never can move beyond that pain, and for those who can’t, who choose never to allow another dog in, I believe their lives are the poorer for it.

What a dog brings us goes far beyond mere companionship, beyond even their irrepressible, unconditional love. Just by being in our world, they teach us how to live. How to devour each morsel of joy the day holds without worrying about what it might cost or whether it will last or what someone may say. They teach us that even if life doesn’t last forever, love does.

It’s love that took hold of me in November, telling me that I simply needed a dog in my life. And it was love that I found when a beautiful, 2-year-old Golden girl came romping into my life in early  December. Found as a stray in the San Joaquin Valley, she was quickly transferred to Homeward Bound Golden Retriever Rescue where I volunteer, and where I adopted both Joey and Casey. Just a day later and totally out of the blue, I decided to drive down to Homeward Bound, where I discovered her, promptly fell in love, renamed her Frankie, and brought her home.

I have no idea how I was so fortunate as to have such a sweet, marvelous dog as Frankie come into my life after having had such a special, remarkable one like Joey . . . but I’ll be forever grateful.

What a wonderful way to end the year!

And speaking of ways to end the year, remember that our dogs aren’t anywhere near as excited by all the celebrations as we are. From exploding champagne corks to eyepopping fireworks, there’s something there to terrify even the most even-tempered dog. If you’ve having a New Year’s Eve party in your home, consider asking a friend or relative to keep your dog for the night. If that’s not possible, then find a safe, quiet room for him, away from the crush of guests and midnight revelry. If your dog is a social butterfly, allow her to mix and mingle for a while, but watch for signs of over-stimulation or anxiety.

May you and your furry companions have a wonderful New Year!

Joan Merriam lives in Northern California with her Maine coon cat Indy, the infinite spirit of her beloved golden retriever Joey, and the abiding presence of her dog Casey, in whose memory this column is named. You can reach Joan at joan@joanmerriam.com.

For instance, what about that raw bread dough you’ve left to rise on your kitchen countertop? Harmless, right? Not to your inquisitive pup who may decide to do a little counter-surfing. Once your dog devours that dough, the yeast in it — which thrives in the stomach’s warm, moist environment — continues to expand. Eventually, it can rise enough to completely fill the dog’s stomach, causing a potentially fatal condition called gastric-dilatation volvulus, in which the stomach bloats, twists around itself, and can eventually rupture. Without immediate veterinary intervention, the dog will likely die.

Another highly-toxic substance for dogs is ibuprofen, an over-the-counter nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug used to treat fever, pain and inflammation in humans. While veterinarians may prescribe very small amounts of ibuprofen, it has an extremely narrow margin of safety for dogs. If your dog gets into a bottle of ibuprofen, or you decide on your own to treat your dog with it, its toxic effects can begin rapidly, causing bleeding stomach ulcers followed by kidney failure and, if left untreated, death.

Dogs, being habitually curious, can also get into other human medications that could be lethal if ingested. You don’t even need to accidentally leave the cap off a medication: dogs can chew through pill or liquid medicine bottles, open cabinets and drawers, get into weekly pill sorters, and rip through plastic bags containing human medication. Some of the most common human drugs that can prove fatal to dogs include antidepressants, medications used to treat heart disease, and sleeping aids.

Aside from drugs, other common substances you may have in your home can be potential poisons to your dog. Some houseplants, for instance, can cause very serious effects: Dieffenbachia (also known as philodendron) and Caladium can result in burning and swelling of the mouth and tongue, as well as difficulty swallowing; and certain types of lily contain calcium oxalate crystals, which cause intense oral irritation, excessive drooling, and difficulty breathing.

You may have heard that some sugar-free candies and gums can be deadly for dogs, but didn’t know why. The reason is because these items often contain the chemical xylitol, which can lower a dog’s blood sugar to unsafe and even lethal levels, depending upon the size of the dog and and the amount of gum or candy consumed. According to VCA Animal Hospitals, xylitol is 100 times more toxic to dogs than chocolate.

Now, let’s step outside for a moment. Hear that croaking? We all know the sound of a frog or toad, but did you know that most toads secrete toxic fluids from their glands to ward off predators? These substances can range from lethal to merely irritating, depending upon the species. Among our local variety is the California toad, a subspecies of the western toad, which fortunately is only mildly toxic.

However, its secretions can cause some dramatic signs when they come into contact with your dog’s mouth: gagging, retching, excessive drooling and foaming at the mouth are common signs. If your dog actually eats the toad, which is highly unlikely, vomiting can occur as well.

None of this is meant to drive you into panic, but to simply remind you that there are everyday things that could potentially harm your dog. As your dog’s caretaker, it’s up to you to keep your furry companion safe.

Joan Merriam lives in Northern California with her Maine coon cat Indy, the infinite spirit of her beloved golden retriever Joey, and the abiding presence of her dog Casey, in whose memory this column is named. You can reach Joan at joan@joanmerriam.com.

But the holidays, with all their accompanying frenzy and anxieties and demands, can also bring extra stress into our lives. To counter that, why not sit back, relax and think
about the meaning of the Season: a time for thanks and for giving.

We can start with giving thanks for the dogs in our lives and acknowledging the unparalleled joy they bring just by being there. Dogs have a way of soothing even the most troubled mind and the most aching heart, thanks to their unconditional love and forgiveness for our human blunders. They don’t care if we’re having a bad hair day or if the car won’t start or if Aunt Sue suddenly doesn’t want to come to our Holiday dinner. All they care about is being by our side, sharing the gift of love. And what do they ask of us in return? Simple human kindness. Freedom from want and fear. Somewhere to lay their head at night. Someone to share their joy at simply being alive.

Amidst the tumult of this season, it’s so easy to forget that acts of caring and giving are at the very heart of the holidays. One way to honor that spirit is to reach out beyond ourselves, reach out to better the lives of other dogs, dogs we’ve never met yet who need our help.

There are dozens of ways we can do that — and I’m sure you’ll think of some I haven’t mentioned!—so let’s take a look at a few.

• Donate to a local shelter or a rescue group. Shelters and rescues are overrun with animals this time of year, and they can always use donations of things like food, towels, grooming supplies, collars and leashes and of course, cash. Gift certificates from a local pet store or a website like Chewy are always helpful. One word of advice before you donate: make sure the organization is legitimate and preferably a nonprofit 501(c)(3) charity. Go to their website, to Charity Navigator, or to the California Registry of Charitable Trusts website at http://oag.ca.gov/charities). Both the Chico Animal Shelter and Butte Humane Society are non-profits, although there are many others.

• Volunteer at a local shelter. Shelters welcome volunteers with open arms: their dogs need to be walked, played with and sometimes bathed or groomed, and there simply aren’t enough shelter staff to do it all. Most shelters require volunteers to be 18 or older, so check first.

• Sign up to foster a dog at a shelter or rescue. Fostering is a great alternative if you’re not ready to make a full commitment to adopting, but want to help a dog with training or simply being in someone’s home. Many shelters and rescues also have a foster-to-adopt program, where you can foster a dog for a certain period and decide later if you want to adopt that pup.

• Provide dog food for an unhoused person with a dog. People living without a home often rely on their dog for comfort, companionship and sometimes safety, and it isn’t always easy for them to find good quality dog food. Many communities also have programs specifically for the pets of the unhoused; in our area, the Chico Homeless Animal Outreach has been helping the pets of people without homes since 2013.

The Thanksgiving holiday may be over, but we can always make room in our lives for thanks and giving!

Joan Merriam lives in Northern California with her Maine coon cat Indy, the infinite spirit of her beloved golden retriever Joey, and the abiding presence of her dog Casey, in whose memory this column is named. You can reach Joan at joan@joanmerriam.com.

What isn’t great are the expectations we sometimes carry into the adoption process: expectations based on the last dog we had, or the “best” dog in our memory, or the wonderful dog that someone told us about.

I know this all too well: once my grief diminished after losing Casey, I went back to where I’d adopted him to look at a dog that my adoption counselor suggested. She brought him out, and the first thing I thought was, “But I wanted a GOLD Golden Retriever.” This one was white. He seemed very sweet, and was adorable, but I resisted. I was carrying around the memory of Casey, and wanted another dog “just like him.”

What I got was Joey, a dog that was every bit as wonderful as Casey, but wonderful in his own way. And what an unexpected gift he was, for every minute of the eight years he
was with me! Had I waited for a gold golden — supposedly one “just like Casey” — I’d have missed out on one of the most joyful experiences of my life with Joey.

Intellectually, we all know that we’ll never find a dog “just like” the one we loved and lost, but the temptation is strong. However, listen to what Kathy Callahan, a professional certified dog trainer says: “Generally, we savor our sweetest memories of our dear departed dogs and remember them at their very finest hour. That’s mostly a lovely thing, but it’s ever-so damaging to the dogs who come next. Do yourself and your new pup a favor: Try to avoid comparisons. But if you can’t do that, be sure to take off the rose-colored glasses. They are blocking you from seeing the fresh new possibilities in front of you.”

Sometimes, it’s not a real dog but an imaginary one on which we base our expectations. You loved watching “Lassie” when you were a kid, so you decide to find a collie. Your neighbor or friend or work colleague has a delightful Labrador or Siberian husky or cocker spaniel, and so you look for a dog just like that one. Except that never happens, not even in the movies. Just like people are individuals, dogs are as well. Their needs and wants, temperaments, quirks and habits, are different from one another, even if they’re the same breed.

Sometimes our expectations revolve around how we want the new dog to act.

Immediately. And that doesn’t happen either, again not even in the movies. If you’re adopting a puppy, you can’t expect her to magically know how to tell you when she needs a bathroom break. Or how to be calm around your 80-year-old grandmother. If you’re adopting an older dog from a shelter or rescue organization, you shouldn’t assume he’ll automatically be perfectly trained, well-mannered, walk easily on a leash, and be ready to snuggle with you on the couch.

That may be the image you have in mind, but it’s not reality. You can’t “replace” a dog from your past or from your imagination, any more than you can “replace” a best friend who moved away or died. Hopefully, one day you’ll have a new best friend — but it will be just that: new. You can’t expect them to be an identical carbon-copy of your previous friend,  because that doesn’t happen — but you know the rest.

You’ll never forget the dog you loved and lost, but once you’ve adopted your new dog, just remember the old Crosby, Stills and Nash lyrics and love the one you’re with.

Joan Merriam lives in Northern California with her Maine coon cat Indy, the infinite spirit of her beloved golden retriever Joey, and the abiding presence of her dog Casey, in whose memory this column is named. You can reach Joan at joan@joanmerriam.com.